(via voguelovesme)
"just remember is not that you are not good enough for him, is you two are just not fated to be together"
— miss wee
how long more do i have to wait ..
"you believe in fairy-tale romance, and spend your life dreaming of one (no matter how cynical you act)."
happy birthday
im officially 19 this year. i thank god that im still living in this world and receiving so much love from people around me :) i only wish that my family will always stay happy and most importantly healthy ..
moving on.
i think i didnt update what happen that night before i fly off to paris. Believe or not, i did it, i confessed to guy i like for 4 years. Didnt know where and how i get my courage from but i did it. It was the most nerve wrecking night ever, i can still remember how listless i was from all the emotional roller-coaster that is occuring that night. One thing that change for sure afterwards is i no longer feel pain thinking about him. I used to feel so pathetic and mad at myself for liking him, someone that i couldnt be on par with, he is too good for me .. Although the words he says stings in my head ‘im sorry i dont feel the same way’ i felt i needed that conclusion and finale to end this whole ordeal of mine. Right now, im still feeling abit embarressed and unbelievable he knows how i felt towards him ,but im still proud to say i am a step closer in moving on :) though during the silent and cold night i will still think of him and my heart break a little, i still knew that im progressing..
i didnt regret saying.
"this heartache will get better, right?"
Last glimpse
At this point i just need somewhere to write all my thoughts away..
I will be leaving to paris in less than 24 hrs , to start a new chapter of my life.
This past few sundays have been a dissapointment for me , reason is obvious; i didnt get to see him.. In my heart i told myself countless time ‘god please just me see him once before i go’ , i misses him to the point where i dreamt of him in my dreams , probably my sub-concious trying to console me. And yesterday i officially given up hope on seeing him face to face again, he not even supposed to be in singapore this weekend. However , a text msg make my heart beats 10 times faster than ever, a totally unexpected chance was given to me to see him , he coming to a birthday gathering . This make feel so much, what should i do?
My rational side wants me to confess to him and get over it, put an end to this pathetic 4 years crush of mine but i dont have the heart and courage to do it . To be honest, im really scared, i really so fucking scared.What will he think of me? will he just treat me as a joke? i know i shouldnt be like this but i just couldnt help myself. Somebody ,please give me strength..
